I wanna touch people again....

His Loving Embrace

I miss hugging people, I miss touching people and being close. Church is such a tactile place, which for me was a real change, in Catholic Church the only contact is a handshake for ‘peace be with you’, it was always my favourite part of Mass, connecting with other. At Gateway people hold each other, they shake hands, they hug, they share their love and warmth in a close and very personal way. It’s healing and powerful, and right now, we are all missing it.

This last few weeks I’ve been thinking a lot about touch, and that feeling of being held by someone. Recent studies suggest that when we feel anxious and our fight or flight wants to kick in, a hug with someone we love, a long hug (60 seconds +) can lower our stress levels right in that very moment. We do that at home, if the world is closing in, I hold my husband ( I cannot get my son to stay still for 60 seconds but I try). I hold him close enough to give me comfort, safety, and to help me heal. It works. My heart beat slows, the panic subsides and once again I have peace. I have been thinking about the power of touch in our faith, and wanted to share some thoughts, two actually;

1. Allow God in…. and how,

2. God is always holding us,

Allowing God in….

During various down spots in my life – human connection has been both the thing I have most craved, but also the thing I have been most unable to accept. When we feel down, or unworthy for some reason, we often do not feel comfortable enough to accept a hug, pat or even just a gentle squeeze from a friend or colleague. I remember being in social settings and dreading someone giving me a hug because it might crack the veneer I had spent so long putting together. It still happens now, you’ll see me in Church, with my arms crossed, because I’m not ready to let anyone help me. I began, at one point, to believe I wasn’t a tactile person, and that I did not enjoy human connection and touch. When I was at my lowest, my self-loathing at the highest, I avoided all kinds of social connection. I left dinners early, didn’t accept invitations and I began to lock down. However, every Sunday, as that was all I could manage, I allowed God right in. And I mean right in, I spent time in his presence, and I allowed Him to know all of me as only He can. I allowed him into my darkest thoughts of the week, I allowed him to hear the pain in my heart. And He provided comfort. I remember the first time I felt able to discuss things openly someone commented that I should be grateful that I had the grace of God to still come and be in his presence, even if only once a week. Had I not done that, had I not had one space in my life where I could be with someone, the most special of someone, but where I could be close to someone, where I could be myself and still receive love, nurture and healing. Where I could still be part of a family – that gift was one of the most powerful gifts I have ever received, and it may have been my saving grace.

God is always holding us

Because, even in our dark moments, even when our head hits the pillow and it is just us and our thoughts, even in lock down trying to save our loved ones from a virus, even when we believe we have behaved sinfully or acted out of hate not love. If we believe in God, if we come to Him with our hearts and arms open, what will we find? We will find that same loving and warm embrace that we feel when we enter His house, it’s always there, every minute of every day. So if you are at home missing a hug – wondering when you will next feel anyone’s loving embrace, close your eyes, take a breath and feel God. Feel Him wrapping his arms around your body, holding you as tight as you want, loving you in all your glory and splendour just as He created you to be in this moment and drink in that grace and wonder. Spend 60 seconds doing this, as you could at Church or home, I like to actually imagine His arms enveloping me – feeling consumed by His love. In this case, we are never alone. As we learn in Isaiah the Lord tells us:

Even to your old age and grey hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.